Chrono Chaos 1

extends middle finger Try making a game yourself before slagging of mind.

BLARGH!

Scorch, stop using the review system as a message board.

Ando, stop using the review system as a message board.

Zandor, stop using the review system as a message board.

What the fuck are you blabbering on about Ando? Why is it whenever someone claims to be an old ZZTer friend of mine, you automaticly assume that it's me? Have you got the words "Shut the fuck up Scorch" on some kind of prerecorded loop, playing in your mind, or is your autism fucking up your judgement big time? I don't even think you are autistic, i knew an autistic guy at college, and he didn't act like an annoying bastard. Even though this game was created by me, it's terrible, not the worst on the site, but i advise people not to waste their time with it.

Maybe it's because this "Andrew Hill" writes exactly like you do. Also HINT: You're a retard and nobody here wants you around. EVER. So go back to your beloved Snorby and don't darken z2's doors again.

Also also autism comes in several flavors. It's not one single disorder.

Another zero for this piece of shit for a game.

shut the fuck up scorch

also this game is really terrible. don't touch it.

For crying out loud, their are worse games on this site. If anyone want's to know who i am, my name is Andrew Hill, i was Scorch's old buddy back in Nova, I never actually got into ZZT that much, but i like playing games. I agree this game sucks big time, but their are much worse games then this, so why are you comming down like a sack of bricks on Scorch? It's been a long time since i actually spoke to Scorch, does anyone know where he's at these days?

Go play the "Chrono" games that don't suck. I'm begging you.

extends middle finger Try making a game yourself before slagging of mind.

This game starts on a bad foot by annoying the player with this eyrie red and blue logo that looks to have been painted by a four-year-old; not that four-year-old paintings are necessarily a bad thing. But the logo gives of a made-it-in-thirty-minutes retro ZZT feel. And the colours simply don?t match in the way they?re composed.

After pressing the button to play, I?m forced to watch this painfully boring and, frankly, cheesy and unrealistic cop vs. bad guy shootout. At this point, I?m thinking ?I can see where this is going; I should?ve refrained from downloading when I saw ?Scorch3000? as the author?. The colours and contours on this first cinema board are on par with pre-stk low-fi productions. ?This is all horribly painful,? I?m thinking to myself.

?Shall I go through the passage?? I think to myself. And then I decide to go through with it just to see what?s behind the door. And yes, you guessed right: it?s the same old story. The first playable board is horribly pre-stk retrospective. And what?s more he?s created these ugly strips of colour, horrible horrible pre-stk colour, that reminds me of some badly engineered Lego houses I saw at primary school.

Just when I think it can?t get any worse, I am cracked over the head with a horribly retarded and inferior introductory statement. ?You wake up and look at the clock and hit it with a small hammer,? says the narrator. Jesus, what?s wrong with you, mister narrator guy, can?t you think of anything more amusing or witty to say? And why did he have a hammer right when he needed one? That?s simply uncanny.

Now I walk over to the computer in this grotesquely inadequate, and not to mention, clichéd ZZT house. There?s a bed over in the corner. And Scorch has taken the time to describe the softness of the pillows. Breathtaking, I?m sure. And not to mention pioneering. Anyway, when I open the fake emails on the fake computer, I am introduced to one of the silliest and most retarded preliminary plot suppositions that could possibly exist. Some guy called Danny refers to the player as ?Agent Smith? and proceeds to inform you that a terrorist has escaped from the police and that he was once on their side; and that he was a GOOD agent. Never mind.

I get all the usual newbie ?You must stop this evil megalomaniac from using stolen technology to create a time machine BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH? crap; and at this point I?m feeling so disgusted, that I want to kill myself.

It seems that quantity is more chief than quality in this game. There are tons of boards with no items or people, which use only two or three pre-stk colours. And while I?m traipsing around the land of boredom, I?m hoping I am not sucked in to it by some supernatural force, as it?s simply too dull. After I find the secret base, I decide to quit and view the game in the editor instead.

Every single board in this game looks horrible. There is little no stk. The sound is limited to annoying beeps when you press buttons etc. There is absolutely no atmosphere portrayed in either graphics or rhetorical imagery. The plot could easily be rivalled by an eight-year-old ZZTer. What else can I say? Just don?t bother downloading this game. It?s not worth it even for the amusement of it being, frankly, crap.