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But no, sadly he doesn't do it. I guess it's a bit much for me to ask this man to kill off all of his characters in one fell swoop.
Tseng actually adds in more hooks for another game! Leaning in on the mystery of how the clones are being made with something called "anti-version matter", plus the identity of Mister Z, there's too much left unanswered! It would be perfectly fine to not wrap things up nicely and all, but while the other ending resolves Mister Z this cloning tech is just being brought up now.
Side Pocket even has the realization of the laser being fired later, but that fear is quickly extinguished as the Mafia government has opted to blow up the planet. Vacations are needed by all, and the game shifts into epilogue mode.
A good number of characters get themselves a little farewell epilogue, but Tseng really doesn't seem like he actually want to give up the reins just yet.
For Gem Hunter and Kim, the two do get married and settle down in "Flosscow". Kim becomes an author, writing about her and Gem Hunter's many adventures. It's chill.
Tyrone returns to Mt. Gabriel to resume his Delaphi training. I don't know what that means, and it hasn't mattered yet.
Qwerty is also settling down a bit, spending time with Torie and reducing his swearing. Torie seems interested him as well, making them the new will-they-won't-they now that Gem Hunter and Kim are together.
Reno failed to win over Torie romantically and is now bored. That's rough man. I hope you find something to do with your time.
Absentminded still in charge of IOU. I'm still slowly piecing together what all these organizations actually are.
Mister Z remains at large.
It's nice to have all this included when there are so many characters, but most of these endings really don't amount to much. Aside from the marriage, nothing really feels like all that big of a deal. Everything is also fairly mundane for a group of folks regularly saving the planet from destruction.
The credits roll, with some last second extra effort being put in as each title and name appears beneath it. It's some nicer presentation. At least until Tseng realizes he needs to start writing other people's names. Then the effort in updating all the little objects to change into different characters than they're already coded to throws a wrench into the plans.
And for most folks, that's where Gem Hunter ends. You could check out that alternate path, either by finding all the gems, or more likely by just opening the second file in ZZT's editor and changing the starting board. Don't fret though, there's still plenty to be seen from this game.
A Bad Joke
Humor has always been an element of the Gem Hunter series, and the third game is no different. Twenty plus years later, a lot of it isn't all that funny, more often than not though it's unfunny because the audience no longer has the tastes of a teenage boy at the turn of the century. In some instances, it's no longer funny because it's just mean. Gem Hunter 3 predates the early 2000s culture where edginess is king, making for a much more tame experience than Thug Life, The Kane Project, or The Thief 3. Gem Hunter gets to be a jerk to plenty of less important characters: beggars, slaves, ZZTers, etc. yet the game is pretty solidly PG-13 outside of a few extra f-bombs.
The cameos have been rather tame as well. Save for the Agonizer, nobody is really depicted in a negative light, just echoing their one line of dialog and moving on. Nadir and Knightt have some grounding in their attitudes at the time, but these still aren't anything hostile. Overall, things are what you'd expect for a game released in early 2000.
But there is one weird exception. One joke that Tseng loves so much that it appears in every last one of the six stages, and it's not particularly funny the first time. Tseng is a little too proud of this one. If you were in the ZZT community in this era, you likely heard this community meme outside of Gem Hunter, and thought little of it. The ZZT community has had far darker days than anything Tseng manages here, but the repetition transforms one bad joke into something significantly more grating.
Zeux. Is. Poor.
The history lesson here is straightforward. Somebody was named Zeux. People called him poor. I don't know if he was! I don't care if he was. The people calling him poor also didn't care. It was enough of an established thing to say that there was even a 24 Hours of ZZT entry, Zeux is Rich, that played with the concept. "Zeux is poor" was as much a part of ZZTer culture as "OHH DEAR", "Agh. More dobermans", "/me falls over", or "(nmiaow)". Any given ZZTer might not have been the type to use these phrases, but they were definitely recognized by anyone in the community.
For Tseng, the joke is that once per dimension, ZZTer Chuck will appear, inform the player that Zeux is poor, and then Zeux will arrive and the two will break into a fist fight that leads to a cute (circumstances aside) little dust cloud enveloping the two indefinitely. Had it been a throwaway gag in one of the worlds, it'd be a few sentences to explain and then politely moving on. The problem is, you can't merely write it off as a product of the era and move on because Tseng cannot let the joke go for some reason. Did he find it that hilarious? Did he think ZZTer cameo wrestling was what the community wanted? I have no answers, only a lengthy list of scenes in which the two fight
The first time I saw it was in the volcano world, just next to the boss chamber. This one ends up being unusual in that the board is devoid of anything else to interact with. You enter it solely to see this show. An entire board created for the purpose of this bit.
The second time in Knightt's world it still felt tacked on, but the board at least contained a gem on the bridge, giving the room more another purpose. I had hoped Gem Hunter could somehow get himself involved with this, though I suspect he'd be more likely to join in than put a stop to it. Three games in and I can't even be sure who he'd want to punch here. Probably both of them. ZZTers are little nerds that don't have guns unless they're stage bosses.
The third time I was tired of it. Even if the humor had been something actually funny, there was no need to stick it everywhere. This was when I realized that I wasn't just picking dimensions that happened to include the bit, but that it would appear in every last one.
This one is weird thanks to the color white already being needed for the snowy terrain. Instead they fight in what I guess is a blood cloud? Oddly, later repetitions would opt to not use the cloud at all when white wasn't an option.
In #darkdigital, Tseng's original character Keno is the first time anyone acknowledges what's happening. He tries to put a stop to the senseless violence only for himself to be killed before the two begin shoving each other instead, as the white outlines used for the interiors on this realm again mean the cloud can't be implemented.
Tseng, never one to waste an opportunity to have himself be insulted, breaks the fourth wall to explain the visual discrepancy. It's better than the blood cloud for sure.
The mansion, despite all the praise I've given it, is no exception. The two start outside and break through a wall to have their tussle. Again, the joke remains unchanged. This would have been a great time for a zombie to show up and get in on it or something. If these scene weren't basically identical every time, you could at least argue that it showing up in every dimension has some purpose.
Kriticom is the only one of these that managed to grab my attention in a positive way. Multiple glass windows separate the two and Chuck makes a flying leap through them to begin the fight, sending glass shards flying everywhere. This one is so much more high effort, by far the one to keep if this gag simply had to be included. Strangely on this one, no dialog is spoken between either of them, so if this is your first stage you're going to be very confused by this.
What Tseng is doing here is really just repeating that which has already been said one thousand times before. He's just had the misfortune of being the one unthinkingly to immortalize the line as more than just a throwaway gag for a 24 Hours of ZZT, and include it in a highly anticipated release that would be taken uncritically by a large number of ZZTers then. Little did he know that twenty three years later I'd say "Hey man, not cool".
The Gems, The Bad, And The Ugly
Let's not forget that this is a Gem Hunter game. If we want that alternate ending where we'll discover who Mister Z is the only way to do that is to get all forty gems in the first file.
As always, this is far easier said than done. Tseng refuses to ease up on the process of uncovering these things. Despite the game broken up into stages, there's no indication given to players that they've found all the gems in a stage. I'd even take a number being listed and letting players keep track between stages. With no feedback at all backtracking to find what you've missed can be the worst it's ever been as you'll end up spending time in any number of completed stages without realizing that you're just wasting time in a fully cleared dimension. (Assuming you can actually find all of them in any given dimension in the first place.)
Granted, that's not all that much worse than the previous game where you're stuck exploring the entire world. It's just here there's a very straightforward way to prevent players from futilely searching for gems that aren't there. Tseng opts to not do this.
In my Closer Looks at the previous Gem Hunter games, I did a second pass with the anthology's walkthrough to point out everything I missed and whether I felt like not finding the gem was my fault or Tseng's. This time I'm just gonna zip through them by breaking things down into a few categories.
We've got freebie gems which that require no effort to collect. These are either given automatically to players, placed in plain sight, or awarded for simply talking to characters. Anybody engaging with the game will likely get these. Then there are the well-hidden gems, where the hunting works best. These are gems that players interested in finding them all could reasonably come across. (Some may be more challenging than others.) Lastly, the cruelly-hidden gems, those that are unintuitive, often requiring players to put the rest of the game on hold and perform some illogical actions or give in to the tedium of touching every tile.
In some instances, Tseng makes it possible to destroy or otherwise miss out on a gem completely. Any one of these renders the entire hunt moot, and if you're not careful you might not even realize you lost them. These will be noted if there's a likelihood of this actually happening. Boards with free gems and no enemies that the player can shoot and destroy for no reason won't be counted as such.
I've also marked any gems that I missed in my playthrough with an asterisk.
The Beaches of Stupidity
#1 (Freebie) - Talking to Kim in Knightt's world gives players a gem she found, and she knows how much her boyfriend loves the things.
#2, #3 (Freebie) - Two gems are being guarded by one of the pirates on the ship. Shoot the pirate and the booty is yours.
#5 (Well-Hidden, Borderline Cruelly-Hidden) - There's a bridge to the island where Chuck and Zeux are fighting that has a tile with a hidden gem on it. Players are likely to be drawn to the island to see if they can interact with the two (they can't). The bridge is three columns wide though, so if the player never runs down the right column they will miss it.
#4*, #7* (Cruel) - Two different boards hide gems in the trees on Knightt's beach. The trees on the island are nigh-identical so players have to touch every tile of every tree to find these. One of these gems is the only tree on a board, and I can potentially see the tree itself as being enough of a landmark to spur players to investigate closely, but with just one tile working to find the gem, I think it's far more likely to go unfound.
These ones could be made much more approachable by adding a knothole object in the trees that would let players get away with touching a single tile per tree rather than every last one.
#6* (Cruel) - An arbitrary spot left of the bridge to Knightt's fortress. Maybe it's meant to be going under the bridge?
The Mountain Of Fate And Breath Mints
#8 (Freebie) - The dead mountain climber has a gem in their hand
#9 (Well-Hidden, Destroyable) - One of the bears that looks like a lion gives you a gem when you defeat them. It is not mentioned and thus incredibly easy to miss even if you do get it. If the bear attacks you it destroys itself and the gem with it! Have fun.
#10 (Freebie) - Chilling in the corner with the other bears. An object, not a gem, so you can't accidentally shoot it.
#11* (Cruel, Destroyable) - Another action board hides an invisible black gem off in a dead-end of a "mazey" layout. I guess the logic is that there's otherwise no reason to head down these dead ends. The gem itself is a regular gem that can be shot by mistake when aiming for one of the bears, and you probably won't even realize you hit it unless you notice the gem shattering sound playing over the sounds of shooting
#12 (Freebie, Destroyable) - The back of a cave leads to a room with a gem and a single bear-lion. This one can be shot so watch your aim!
#13* (Well-Hidden) - Behind the newbie clone which requires the player to realize they can head west from outside Gem Searcher's boss chamber to get around it. I'm considering it hidden as you can't actually just grab it when you see it. Technically you can shoot it, but unless you do so at point blank on a board with nothing else to shoot you won't actually destroy it.
The Carnival Of Slaves And Fire
#14* (Cruel, Borderline Well-Hidden) - A slave "points at the left wall", from Gem Hunter's perspective, meaning it's on the right side of the board. The language is the real issue here, and it's obvious that there is something hidden on the board after talking with the slave. I feel like you're still stuck touching every wall first, and will probably start on the incorrect side of the board, but that might just be me. This one wants to be well-hidden at least.
#15 (Freebie) - Examining a dead body.
#16 (Freebie) - A sleeping slave has a gem in plain sight right by him. It requires crossing a fake wall, however all the walls in the area are fake, so any attempt will succeed at acquiring it.
#17* (Cruel, Borderline Well-Hidden) - South of the overpass the rightmost stalagmite has a hidden gem embedded in it. The stalagmites are a much easier location search than the trees previously, so I can see a player touching every last one of them, but it's still a lengthy process that slows things down.
#18* (Cruel, Borderline Well-Hidden) - In the torture room, another arbitrary stalagmite has a gem. Nothing about it stands out unlike the key hidden on the lone bloody one.
#19 (Well-Hidden) - One of the blue rings whose path has to be crossed to collect the key to the boss room gives a gem when defeated. Players are encouraged to shoot it to make traversal easier, though like the bears earlier, it's unlikely they'll notice they got a gem for their efforts.
The Evil Mansion
#20 (Well-Hidden) - The mansion logbook quietly gives a gem when read. The different titles to all the books already motivate players to read them all, but even for players that don't want to bother this is the odd book out, being dark gray while the rest are in bright colors.
#21 (Freebie) - The guest bedroom has a gem next to its toilet. It's out of the way enough from the enemies that the odds of shooting it by mistake are incredibly low.
#22 (Well-Hidden) - One of the six dead bodies in the kitchen has a gem. Unlike the stalagmites, I think players are trained to investigate bodies for gems, ammo, keycards, or anything really. They won't be found in numbers on every board, and the aside from the bodies there's nothing else the player can interact with on this board.
#23 (Well-Hidden, Borderline Freebie) - The toilet in the master bedroom has a gem hidden inside. If you aren't touching every toilet you come across (in ZZT only please) I don't know what to say to you.
#24 (Well-Hidden) - One of the candles in the mansion's basement. I would have preferred if this one had its animation be slightly different in timing or appearance, but it's another instance of nothing else on the board to interact with, and is such an obvious spot to hide a gem that players looking for them are bound to come across this one.
Arguably, this is the same thing as touching all the stalagmites in Lemmer and Scissorman's stage. I figure since they're packed so closely together the process is quick enough to make this one a good gem and not a bad gem.
#25 (Freebie) - The iron bastard drops a gem on the floor after rusting.
The Alternate #Darkdigital
#26 (Freebie) - Talk to HM at the poker game.
#27* (Cruel, Borderline Well-Hidden) - If you stand between Koopo and Flatcoat Lab and touch the wall you'll get a hidden gem. There's some attempt of a hint here with their positioning, but it's not unusual in the least for two characters in conversation with one another to be standing like this. If the wall was odd, or this was the only building you couldn't enter, I think it would be okay. This one only seems sensible after you know there's a gem there.
#28 (Freebie) - Talk to (and murder) a beggar
#29 (Freebie) - Pressing the button to open the door to ChanOp's lair quietly gives the player a gem.
#30 (Freebie) - Talking to Voidght and having him smash open the wall reveals a gem and the key needed to proceed with the game.
#31*, #32* (Cruel) - Touching a wall in the room with the beggar opens up a secret room with two gems inside. This is on par with Knightt's tree gems, though if you find this one I bet you'll find the one between Koopo and Lab no problem.
Orbital Station Kriticom
#33 (Freebie) - In plain sight on the board you start on. Gem Hunter event comments on it being the easiest gem he's ever found.
#34* (Well-Hidden) - One of the pillows in the crew quarters has a gem hidden under it. I missed this one in my playthrough as the other pillows are made of boulders and thus play a sound when touched, so I assumed they must all be boulders. Perhaps a bit mean, but I'm more than willing to take the fall for this one over Tseng.
#35* (Well-Hidden) - The hallway in the R&D sector goes on farther than it needs to. An invisible gem can be found in the corner. Again a little bit mean, but mostly because of how much of the game feels as pointless as the extended hallway. If the game hadn't meandered so much, this could be suspicious enough to investigate.
#36* (Well-Hidden) - Elena's phone has a gem beside it, but it can only be found after the two phone conversations are over. So many of Kriticom's gems are all just a bit too mean to feel good saying they're well-hidden, yet not nearly mean enough to say they're cruel. Gem hunting is a spectrum.
#37* (Cruel) - Okay, this one is fascinating. The glass shatters when Chuck and Zeux fight leaving a few objects of shards. One of them has a gem. That's good. The gem can only be picked up if you touch the object from the west and not the south. That's bad. There are two staircases to the lower level, one of which is blocked off by the fight and shard with a gem, meaning that you have to investigate the dead-end to discover the gem. That's good. This would be a great example of how to hide a gem if the shard couldn't be touched from any other direction. Instead, it arbitrarily fails to work and no player is going to think that touching it from a different direction will have a different result.
#38 (Freebie) - A dead body in the same room.
#39 (Freebie) - You get a gem for defeating Meegalo. Every boss in Gem Hunter 2 gave a gem when defeated, only Meegalo does so here.
I Have To Write Another Sub-Heading?
#40 (Freebie) - Beating all six stages gives the player a gem for their hard work and to make the total a nice round number.
After failing miserably in the first two games and realizing that there was no chance of actually finding everything, I was definitely a bit more lax in my playthrough, not taking the time to find some gems that I might have otherwise if I was trying to get as many as possible before consulting the guide like I had previously.
But Tseng can't fool me a third time. I knew from before I launched the game that I wasn't going to find them all, and that really demotivated me from finding some that aren't that unreasonable. Tseng has continually refused to stop and think about what he's demanding of players. If it's an object? Touch it. If it's an enemy? Shoot it. If it's an empty tile in a corner? Stand on it. It quickly gets overwhelming to actually do, and is a great way to kill one's interest in participating in the gem hunt at all.
Over the course of the series, Tseng has loosened up a little is in how much of this is required. The second strikes a nice compromise, requiring a certain number of gems to proceed to the final area, which lets players hunt while not having to suffer through it's full requirements. I keep repeating myself that the third game had the luxury of stages which could have had their own individual totals allowing players to look for what they missed much more efficiently than the earlier titles.
It just doesn't matter though. If you accidentally shoot an invisible gem in the mountains: you're done.
Going through the list, what stands out to me is that there is a surprisingly correlation between how much I enjoyed a world and how many of the gems I found. BlueMagus's mansion is the only stage where I had a 100% clear rate, and it's the one I enjoyed the most. Meanwhile Knightt's island and #darkdigital were uninteresting to me and feature some of the game's cruelest gems. It's probably only a coincidence, though it makes sense to me that the more effort put into a world, the more opportunities there are to hide gems well. In the more sparse worlds, Tseng feels as if he has a quota to meet.
