Secret Agent Chronicles

One hour remains and I have no idea what's going on yet.

Back on Earth, Bill finds himself outside yet another one of the D Corporation's evil bases. Before going on, it's definitely worth exploring the rest of the area, namely Jo Jo's house.

Welcome to Jo Jo's house.

Jo Jo is the coolest person ever. He just wants to hang out with Bill and he's not even upset when Bill isn't able to. Instead, the player gets the best choice I've ever seen in a game. You're tasked with the impossible decision of whether you would like a hat or a monkey.

By this point I knew one of these would be essential to progressing and the other would result in death. So I took the hat first.

It's a really good hat. Confidence bolstered by his new headgear, Bill struts into yet another base.

Before Jigen here just ends him immediately. The hat is a trick. Do not take the hat. Take the monkey.

It's a really good monkey. Confidence bolstered by his new friend, Bill struts into yet another base.

Do not cross this monkey.

So hey, try to comprehend the rules of when and where this game uses quotation marks here.

We get an actual split path in the next room, with another locked door and something inside (which I assume is another code). There's also a theta shaped object.

This is ominous. I don't know what kind of suit it is, and it didn't kill me so I assume that means at some point I now won't be killed immediately for wearing the wrong suit.

Now things are getting serious. There's a room full of missiles on this board! There's also another employee who probably does something if Bill doesn't have the suit.

"Really?" asks the government agent when confronted with being somewhere he's not supposed to be. "Yeah, really." replies the scientist.

Anyway it's time to threaten somebody at gunpoint. Bill has killed plenty of guards by now so we know this is no empty threat.

The scientist doesn't seem to be all that afraid for his life, but he does cooperate immediately, vanishing the missiles from the board.

Selecting the other choice just has the scientist explain that the exit is to the south. It doesn't prevent Bill from putting his gun to the scientist's head again and asking about the missiles.

The other object in the room is a toolbox that Bill takes. I was expecting it to be some health or ammo.

Bill also can't leave just yet. To the authors' credit, there is a code to be found in the other side of the base and he won't let the player wind up at the end of the game without having the full code. Another object disappears once the missiles are gone preventing Bill from going forward without dealing with them as well.

Back to killing.

Up top there are also some more items. This side of the base has ammo, health, and "more ammo" as it gets a message indicating it as such when collected. Most importantly though, is a knife to pick up. Bill is 100% going to kill somebody with this.

The guard that was killed earlier gave Bill the password to get past this door, which in turn gives Bill a key that he doesn't know the purpose of.

This is also where the suit is required, as attempting to reach the key without it causes this to happen.

With the code collected, Bill can now pass the softlock preventing object and proceed into his most dangerous situation yet.

This is such an amazing scene. Bill is destroyed by Dr. D's giant laser despite having more time to do something when the evil genius trips and swears over it.

My attempt to shut the laser off before being killed did not go very well.

There's another great death if you go for a melee attack without the right equipment.

With his bullet proof vest, Dr. D's sole weakness is of course a knife to the head. Even then though, he's pretty coherent afterwards.

HOW GOOD IS THIS

Now that Dr. D is dead Bill can destroy the weapon rather than firing it.

It's a 50/50 guess (cut the green wire) and obviously cutting the wrong wire kills you and everyone else as the base explodes.

Finally, there's one last room to clear with Dr. DD. (not a typo. He's a new character who hasn't been stabbed in the head.) This is where the codes finally matter. Each of the red solid walls is a door that asks for the next part of the code.

There's also this weird blue thing that moves to the right when you touch it.

All of the code inputs look like this. I just want to point out that every door asks for "code 1", with the proper updates to the actual choices.

Once all the doors have been opened, it's time to finish the fight.

But shooting him would be too easy. We also can't stab him in the head because that's been done before.

Well, as it turns out, that blue thing is in fact a robot. It's running at cycle 3 meaning Bill gets to slowly approach Dr. DD until he can push it into him.

It's both brutal and hilarious in its description.

Bill can also be killed by the robot if he touches it without picking up the gloves in the room with Dr. D.

And then Agent Dave of the F.B.I. finally makes an appearance. Oh that Dave!

Strangely, the player is given a choice of whether or not they want to see the ending or just have the game end here.

This board also reveals that the game has two authors. The database originally only credited Secret Agent Chronicles solely to Chewy.

Turning back, the other door is opened, but there's a final programming error here where the flag is never set that you defeated Dr. DD, requiring cheats to get to the ending.

Looking at this board, to me, shows an ugly looking car and another guy in red that is either Dr. DDD, or maybe Dave.

It's apparently a plane or helicopter, which I can only say for certain because the object is named "pilot".

A pilot who leads a very sad existence in this game.

Bill flies back to HQ for his award ceremony.

Maybe it's supposed to be a flying saucer sort of vehicle?

It is kind of cute actually getting to walk onto a stage in front of a small crowd. I just wish it wasn't happening seconds after stabbing a man repeatedly.

Thank you. All it took was a knife.

Better luck next time Dave.

Bill walks into the tiny room, touches some red object, and the game ends.

Well. Sort of. We're... only halfway done.

There's still the Beta mission, but I think it's time to take a break from the thrilling life of a secret agent. The second scenario is shorter, and somewhat better coded, but still very much a mess. I'll definitely make sure to squeeze the beta mission in somewhere after this article goes public.