As part of the poll reset, we got us another one that's been sitting on the polls for a comically (cosmically?) long time. The patron in question has been chill about it thankfully.
Captain Cosmo is a demo of what sounds like a traditional "save the kidnapped damsel" with your basic sci-fi setting. In practice, due to the demo's limited scope, it's a lot more comparable to games like Shaun Taylor's Adventures in OakTown, or even WolfBrother's Nature's Revenge. The science fiction aspect of the game and its futuristic setting doesn't really get much opportunity to stand out. What the game is, as far as what you can play of it, is more of a town exploration game with normal homes and businesses and the occasional ambush of lions and ruffians to add some conflict.
It doesn't really push the boundaries of the genre in any noticeable way, but it's got its charms nonetheless. For once the NPCs seem to actually be familiar with the player, and shockingly they're a fan of him. Cosmo seems to be a well-liked member of the community with fellow citizens happy to say hello or invite him to sit down and have a beer at the bar.
It's hard to say what the standard for this kind of game even would be as it suffers the case of the unknown release date. This is one of dozens of worlds from the AOL era where the timestamp has since been changed to January 1st, 1997. Lord help any game that actually was finished on this day, as nobody aware of the date's over-representation will ever believe it without additional evidence of the date's accuracy.
There are a few hints at least. Nothing in the game helps date it. There's no mention about being excited about the new upcoming Nintendo 64 or anything like that. We do however have other releases by the company as well as one other release by the game's author Erik Sagen. His other game, Adventure of Bob, has a more credible early 1996 release date, and shows a clear improvement in execution which is enough to make me shrug and say 1995 is a good a baseline as any.
Captain Cosmo may be the author's first release, and if so, he did a pretty admirable job coupled with some easy to identify opportunities to improve his craft of game making. So let's take a look at where Sagen thrives, where he falters, and how he's able to bring it all together in the end to make Cosmo a guy to root for on his galactic adventure that never officially sends the player into outer space.
Oh The Places You'll Go
Captain Cosmo is primarily a game about exploring a small town. It's unclear exactly where this town is, with a few boards suggesting that it might be on some sort of space station. The presentation of the main hub board is really no different than most early ZZT towns, which makes it hard to really notice what little sci-fi motifs there are. Perhaps the game is set in something like an O'Neill cylinder. Really though, it's more likely Sagen wasn't putting that much thought into it, concerning himself with creating places for players to explore with little regard to how what could be found outside the setting's borders.
Players begin their journey in Cosmo's home, which is more ZZT board than realistic living space. There are some hints at normal household furniture in the form of a bed, desk and bathroom sink (oddly no toilet), but it's mostly filled with rooms behind locked doors whose keys are nowhere in sight.
Beyond the locked doors lie some more tempting locations, a room loaded with items, a virtual reality arcade with passages leading to mini-games, and Cosmo's spaceship. These immediately give players something to make a note of, prioritizing returning here later with some keys.
A short scroll is the only insight you get as to what you're meant to do. It's not very clear after reading either. Find the mayor, find Mr. "Nonsanse", game over. The game does have an actual story, which will be revealed later on. For now, Sagen is rather content to just let players explore as they please, setting the game up as a pretty laid back adventure where you can get around to the important things later.
The town itself makes the most of every last tile of space it has, creating narrow streets and buildings sized to fill any available space. It looks nice, and saves a lot of walking. Especially with the very rigid alignment of the streets that prevent the need for precise adjustments to stick to a path. It also lets players make a more meaningful decision as to where they want to go. Spread these building out across multiple boards, and the decision of whether to visit the planetarium or shooting range first will instead be a much less interesting decision of "east or west".
Of course, that's only a benefit here due to the many labels. Some may say it's a bit excessive to label the grass "Park", sure, but for everything else, it's much more convenient for players than to need to constantly refer to map objects to present an overview of the whole board. Nobody wants to run back to a sign to find which building is the bar because that they forgot which of several indistinct buildings happens to be the one they're after. It takes some doing to make buildings identifiable without lettering, and while games like Evilstania pull it off by having every building relate to a game mechanic, it's a lot harder to communicate the function of buildings that aren't built solely for Cosmo to visit.
It could be worse, Sagen could have a dedicated sign outside of every building to explain what it is, really de-emphasising the ability to make a choice by having them already do 95% of the work just to learn what the choice even is. Any player that walks to a sign in front of a building is almost certain to just go in that building, not because it's the most exciting place, but just because it's right there.
So as the hub for literally everything else the game has to offer, I think Sagen's design is actually really smart, despite what the ZZT community of the 2000s may say. Even in those rare moments where there is extra space, filling things out with parks, and a few passageless buildings that make it clear that you'll never be able to enter. It looks packed with things to do, and players are actually allowed to decide for themselves how they want to go about exploring it without having to run in circles to learn what their options are.
There is only one real fault to this otherwise fine presentation. The mayor's house is tucked away at the very end, making it unlikely to be the first choice unless players take the opening scroll suggesting to speak with the mayor to heart. The mayor's house is where the game's story is revealed, and it's very easy to explore the majority of the world, and even reach the scene which ends the demo without knowing what the full game's intended story is.
So for the sake of clarity, it's probably best to head there first lest a small number of scenes make slightly less sense. This is not what I did, which was quickly stumble into the demo's end and have several locations I had yet to visit.
The story is a classic tale of ZZT games through the ages. Cladd Cosmo is being promoted to captain so that he can set out to rescue the mayor's kidnapped wife. It's not quite as simple as a rescue the damsel situation however. This story has a wrinkle to it, and surprisingly it's one caused by Cosmo himself.
He doesn't actually want to be a captain! It's a tremendous responsibility, and the stress of being the one who will be the ultimate decider of what happens to the mayor's wife is not something he wants thrust upon him. This isn't a story of an every day guy finding himself doing the impossible and becoming a hero, this is the story of an every day guy wanting to remain forgettable. Something about Cosmo's tiny bit of dialog makes him a compelling character to me, one easy to sympathize with.
Alas, Cosmo doesn't really have much of a say in the manner, as this is a ZZT mayor, and I don't think a single politician in ZZT has ever had a positive portrayal. (Even president-elect Brickles had to win his election on a technicality rather than policy.) Cosmo's family has been pre-emptively imprisoned in order to ensure his compliance with his new title and role. Enjoy your promotion, idiot.
I would love to see the game go the more unexpected direction and be about breaking your family out, rather than having to give in to the mayor's demands (though I would still feel bad for Mrs. Mayor who I'm sure is a lovely woman). Heck, maybe that is how it was meant to go. This is basically all the story information players receive save for some scant details about the kidnappers elsewhere. It's open to interpretation at least, and it would be far from the first time a mayor in ZZT had to be deposed.
A more exciting to place to be than the office of a corrupt politician is the bar. Here a Han Solo-esque fight ensues where immediately upon entering one of the patrons confronts you with a gun. The classic scene plays out worse than any special edition could though, as the conversation happens the moment you enter, while the adversary in question is way off in the corner of the bar, incapable of reaching you. The object then becomes a tiger, offering the tiniest possible amount of combat to get through, and all the time in the world to consider your approach to your lone adversary.
The other patrons hardly seem to care, not only about the fight, but about anything at all. Sagen did a nice job filling the bar out with a number of patrons as well as including something less common in the form of a private room, but the vast majority of objects here have no code whatsoever, giving players things to look at, but little to actually do.
It's particularly egregious in that private room! None of the objects there are coded, allowing Cosmo to interrupt the party and just start picking up gems off the ground. The very existence of this room demonstrates above average effort when it comes to creating an interesting interior. Then effort then feels wasted when players discover that the detail is merely painted on rather than interactive.
At least the empty vessels are only an issue in half of the bar. On right side are a number of patrons familiar with Cosmo that joke with him and invite him to sit down and have some peanuts and beer with them. Sure enough, you can actually munch on some bar food for health.
What's more surprising is how many people in the bar have a positive opinion of Cosmo. I'm so used to protagonists being losers forced to save the day, or bad-ass tough guys who make things worse for everyone around them. It's uncommon to see a character actually liked by NPCs that aren't plot-relevant. Even the bartender is excited to see you, hinting that Cosmo is hardly a regular, but used to show up now and again with his father. It helps makes Cosmo feel like he's a part of this little town and not just passing through for the sake of his adventures.
The bar also has a very deadly back alley that can only be accessed from inside. Here Cosmo is flanked from both sides by "space bums and weirdos" upset that someone intruded on their territory. It's a fight that asks far too much of players. The rest of the game is far kinder than this board, which really stands out from everything else as very cruel in a game that's otherwise very relaxed.
The generous amounts of ammo given out might seem sufficient until you realize that those tigers throw stars and have their firing right increased somewhat from the default amount. It ends up being far too oppressive to fight. Cosmo's lasers constantly get cut-off by stars, preventing them from ever punching through to the source of them. It's one of those fights where the correct thing to do is run.
One of Sagen's more unusual design choices is his insistence of having dialog producing objects on the board be a visible component rather than make the objects invisible or blend in with their surroundings. Generally, Sagen uses objects that look like boulders to display text. On a board like this, what would otherwise be a harmless departure from the norm turns a bad situation worse, as the dialog object is embedded in a wall in such a way that players will likely assume it's something to interact with. This board was the only time I died in Cosmo, and that's because I assumed there was a button to press or poster to read, when in fact it's nothing more than another wall to the player.
If you have the key to make it into the hideout behind the bar, you can get into a much more manageable fight. The interior is a messy arrangement of walls that seems to provide quite a number of new rooms to explore, though it's not as many as it looks.
This board also provides some hint at the game's incomplete nature, with an "OUT TO LUNCH" scroll placed in front of an invisible wall that blocks entrance to the conference room. The passage can be accessed by zapping, where it leads to one of several of the game's blank rooms.
Even the rooms Cosmo is still permitted to enter don't have a whole lot inside. Though they do at least have some good dialog.
The military room is yet more supplies, and Cosmo having an urge to take them for himself. He wants to steal.
The employees room (which requires yet another key) tries to add a bit more to the story where the group's leader the er... "Head Bum", asks you to find somebody named Hervex. Cosmo and I both have no idea who he's talking about, and so Cosmo refuses to listen, which draws their ire as all the other weirdos turn into lions so you'll have something to fight.
This board may be accessible, but it certainly feels unfinished as there's nothing to collect other than the hundreds of ammo lying on the ground. The lions certainly don't drop anything, and the leader simply vanishes after delivering his lines, providing no benefit to entering other than ammo that can be acquired just as easily in the military room. ...Actually, this applies to everything behind the bar. It's ammo you won't need, torches you'll need for a single dark board (easily acquired elsewhere), and gems to buy things you won't need other than maybe health, which you'll probably lose more of running through the star-throwing tiger board twice than you'll manage to gain in the hideout.
If you are looking for ammo, the shooting gallery is where you want to be. It takes the most basic form here, using nothing more than a row of water to divide the board, turning creatures into helpless targets. Fret not though, animal-lovers, the scroll kindly informs us that these are "Holo-Creatures" that you can shoot for points.
And that's all you can do. It's another example of a board that exists to help flesh out the world a bit, that functions as nothing more than window dressing in terms of purpose. You can grab some ammo, and if you're chasing down a high score you can clear out the entire board. (The other objects have no code, and their bullets couldn't strike a creature even if they did.) The only reward to collect are the points provided, and I suppose the free ammo. There's no bonus to be had for clearing the board or any special targets to aim for that will provide a big bonus or a key or something to give the board a better description than "time killer".
Short of the Holo-creatures, the shooting gallery could easily be dropped into any number of worlds unchanged and nobody would find it out of place. That's honestly the case with a lot of the game which does surprisingly little with it's sci-fi themes. Admittedly, there's the occasional mention of a laser, or a space ship that help remind you that this is not a game set in modern times. Looking at the town square though, you'll find the kind of places you'd visit yourself today rather than anything that requires waiting for the future to arrive.
The planetarium helps to remind the player that this isn't just a town on Earth. The starry background is one of the fancier designs the game has to offer, especially when combined with the vividly colored carpeting to really give it a unique look.
It too won't lost though. This planetarium is another obvious victim of the game being under construction, with a board exit hastily blocked off. The connection is still intact within the game, revealing a mostly complete inaccessible room.
The game could have used a few more moments of action like this, but with closed off buildings and more dead ends, it's not surprising that this fight wasn't kept. "Corvex Galaxy" is the bad part of town, with a flood of ruffians that funnel towards Cosmo for easy pickings. It's a satisfying little fight that establishes Cosmo as no easy mark. Sometimes, it just feels good to take zero damage, even if there's no actual challenge in doing so.
The praise for the newfound art style is short lived. The one board actually reachable from the planetarium are these offices, a mess of yellow borders and blue line walls. The seemingly mis-aligned door is actually not a door at all, but part of an elevator to the other rooms. Coding such a thing turns out to be beyond Sagen's abilities at this time. Rather than take the player for a ride, you're expected to touch the objects repeatedly, moving one step at a time as if manually pulling yourself up.
And he really botches the code here in an amusing way. Touching the upper part of the elevator will cause the top one to try to move south while the other half doesn't move at all. Touching the bottom half causes the two halves to move away from each other. It's very disorienting! Harmless, but disorienting.
This entire section of the game boils down to grabbing a key and talking to an information desk employee, via scroll rather than touching them. Cosmo asks the worker about the I.B.G., the villains responsible for kidnapping the mayor's wife. The only thing you learn here is that you can get a magazine with more info at the general store. Depending on your path through the game, this may be the first time you hear of the I.B.G., or it may be a clerk telling you to read a magazine you've already read.
The store takes a weird to approach to business. Everything on the shelves up for grabs. Bless City of the Darned for coining the term "Steal Store" for ZZT's shops where the items are free because the author doesn't know how to make them not be. Strangely, you can talk to the clerk and buy the usual items (as well as some gag ones) which do require gems to buy. Business must be tough when most people just take things instead.
One of the free items is the magazine spoken of by the information desk employee. It's one last shred of story, defining the I.B.G. acronym and giving a name to its leader, "Jack Jorz", the assumed organizer of the kidnapping that put Cosmo in his predicament. With an infallible alibi of watching Married With Children[1], it's up to Captain Cosmo to save the day.
But first, some reading.
- [1] For a moment, I thought this might be a decent way to estimate the game's release, as the show still had to be somewhat fresh to be the go to sitcom to use for a joke. Did y'all know that show's final season aired in 1997? If you told me there were new episodes in 1995 I'd be shocked.
